a NeW cHaPTeR….
for months i’ve been silently praying that my once strong grip in faith would be restored
i kept praying that i would go thru an episode which would have such a strong impact on me that it would lead me back to god
and i guess my prayers were answered
and i thank god for that
now i feel like i’ve stepped onto a higher level emotionally, mentally and spiritually
throughout this past year there were times when i knew i didn’t deal with situations the way i normally would have
guess i was thinking more with my heart than with my head
and i hated the person i turned out to be each time i listened to my heart
i never knew that i could be that person that i always told myself i would never be
deep down i knew that i was damn stupid to listen to my heart
but i kept doing it and i kept getting hurt
but thanks to hardcore upbringing
i never fell hard..
slipped a couple of times but was always able to pull myself up again
and i thank god i have such amazing friends who never failed to be there every single time
it’s a common phrase rite, it’s only during troubled times you know who your true friends are
i’m grateful for the fact that not a single one of them let me down
but i guess i had to fall to learn
believe me
i have!
guess i had to go thru it the hard way to really learn
it made me step out of the painting and look at the big picture
when i stepped out i saw many roads
roads that i’ve walked before
roads i was heading towards
and roads that i would never go near
when i looked back at the roads i once walked
there was a wave of nostalgia
there was this one road in particular
it was really pretty like those sub-urban residential areas
when i walked down it i just felt so at home
i just connected immediately to the surroundings
you know you have this picture in your head how u want your home to be one day
and i found it
but after a period of time
things weren’t so pretty anymore
once you got really close with the ppl
the beautiful looking scenary was just a cover up for all the hell that was going on there
for a long time i kept fooling myself
i wanted to hang on to that fantasy
i just put aside my principles and believes just so i wouldn’t lose it
but i guess reality had slapped me hard
and i woke up one day and realised it can all only be a fantasy
